Baloney (or) Beer

Looking back on my life, I notice there was never an age when both baloney and beer were part of my diet.  Additionally, the few years during which I had outgrown baloney but had not yet started drinking beer coincided with my ideal weight, fastest running times, and peak overall health.

If there’s some lesson in all of this I have no idea what it is.

Men’s Fitness Muscle Health Lifestyle Magazine, Issue 1 to Infinity

*Get Shredded! New shredded salads to get lean fast!

*Platinum Abs! Take your abs to the next metal!

*Better Sex! More Sex! Tips to transform your body into a non-stop orgasm!

*Bolder, Boulder Shoulders! Turn your shoulders into granite rock!

*Alcoholics Synonymous! New cocktails guaranteed to get her panties off!

*Lube Tube! Our favorite ‘gland brands’ to keep things slippery!

*Pack Man! Pack on 1,000 pounds of muscle in 1 hour (really)!

*Fountain of Youth! Live forever, never die, become immortal!

Rinse. Wash. Repeat.