Movie Dialogue Said in a Comedic Way with Cheesy Music Playing in the Background

I never knew a monkey could do that.

Is it a good idea? Beats me.

Look at Johnny’s tiny weiner.

Yep, I farted.

That’s what you think, pal.

Paging Dr. Balzac.

You’ll love her, she’s got a body like the Eiffel Tower.

Yeah, and some people think margarine is good for you.

Hi, I’m Ronald, have you seen my McDonald?

Don’t worry, I’ve got five minutes, but I only need three minutes and forty-one seconds.

Who’s up for a margarita?

Some of my best friends are spiders.

Global warming? More like global heart-warming.

I’ve gotta piss like a race horse that’s pissing its brains out.

Don’t mow another man’s mulch.

Some people see shapes in clouds, I see billions of little cloud people chugging along and living their lives.

That ain’t cottage cheese, son.

 

 

Movie Dialogue Said in a Dramatic Way with Overwrought Music Playing in the Background

Everybody wants something from someone else.

If I wanted to stop you, I could.

Look at us, clinging to rafts while the sharks circle beneath our feet, inches from our wriggling toes.

You know what you are? A terrible human.

One of these days your brains are going to decorate my wall.

You’re the reason she’s dead, live with that.

You see me, seemingly recovered, the titanium rods in my legs holding me up. But what you don’t see, what you couldn’t possible see, is the stabbing pain of my nerves tearing me apart from within.

Your mother is exaggerating, it’s what she does.

Since when did you come to me to hear nontruths?

You’re sinking, Jake. The quicksand’s got you.

Before you put a muzzle on a pitbull, you better know whether you’re ever gonna take it off.

Think fast, Donna. Time’s running out.

We used to come here as kids, do you remember?

I’m tired of carrying you to your next catastrophe.

How do you spell ‘fuckface’?

The King of Picking Nits

It’s always bothered me how in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, Guy of Gisborne says to Robin Hood: “Might I have the pleasure of your name, before I have you run through.” But after Robin Hood gets the best of Guy and his men, with his sword at his throat, he turns the tables and says: “Now sir, if you’d be so kind to give me your name, before I run you through.” They don’t match up. “Have you run through” vs. “run you through.” The accuracy of each statement’s ownership of running throughness aside, I prefer proper parallelism.