Communicating with others

If you really want to annoy someone, keep saying ‘nerp’, for no reason.

And I don’t mean only say, ‘nerp’. I mean, toss it in randomly.

‘What was the name of that website I was on earlier?’

‘Was it nerp?’

Then in the silences to follow, say, ‘was it nerp?’ a few more times.

Also, really emphasize ‘nerp’, make it sing. They’ll hate you. I guarantee it.

 

Linguisticks and stones

A list of phrases I’d like to see used in public:

  • Woohoo yoohoo chocolate milk!
  • Make like a spider and web.
  • Stayin’ alive like Johnny Five.
  • Go blog yourself!
  • You smell like an olfactory sensory neuron.
  • Open your rods and cones.
  • Honeydew, honey don’t.
  • Time to teleport.
  • That warms the cockles of my seafood stew.
  • Don’t give up, take down!
  • It’s a Catch-22,000 Leagues Under the Wide Sargasso Sea.
  • That’s so atomic!
  • I’m so hungry I could chew, swallow and digest a horse.
  • Say hello to my amigo pequeño!