Grossery

Pretty sure the only reason food spoils is so grocery stores can keep you coming back for more like drug dealers, and absolutely nothing to do with bacteria, chemistry or me just liking to go to the grocery store to hang out by the eggs with no pants on.

Filthy Rap Lyrics

You wanted flirty

But it ain’t me, babe, I’m straight up dirty

Chocolate squirty, herpes, and a case of the scurvy

I live in squalor, holler, [inaudible] dollar

 

My lyrics are real, disarmingly genteel, a touch puerile, like a resplendent stiletto heel slipping on a rotting banana peel

I like my strippers freshly showered

Even though I never bathe (save when it rains) 

So I live with the stains and

Abdominal pains

From the tape worm that trains from my gut 

To my butt 

Also, full disclosure: head lice

The size of basmati rice

I’m not being lewd, just really precise.

Some other rappers are filthy, figuratively

But not me, comparatively, I speak of filth much more literally.

 

[gently places mic on floor]