Life lessons and a Guinness

“Anyone who openly says, ‘I’m good at public speaking,’ is not ‘good’ at anything.”

-SpudWeb

handwritten note

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Missed Connections…in Product Placement

Seriously, how the hell hasn’t Ninja blender (aka Shark Ninja LLC) figured out a huge product placement campaign with the recent Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie and the upcoming Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows? Hello, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Hello, Shredder? Hello, God, it’s me, Shark Ninja LLC, asleep at the wheel.

When Carmelo Antony is beating you to the punch, time to give up and crawl back in your shell.

And, no, this is not direct from an Onion article (emphasis mine):

“I was basically involved in the whole creative process—the colors, which are kind of obvious considering they’re turtles, and the slogan, and the textures,” Anthony said, per Moin. “I was involved in every step. We really took our time to narrow it down and figure out what we wanted. I feel good about all the pieces.”

At least, I can now legitimately segue into one of my favorite Onion videos ever. Gives a whole new meaning to turtle power. Enjoy!

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Love’s Labour’s Lost in Translation

How humans used to communicate feelings of love:

Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? 
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer’s lease hath all too short a date: 
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm’d; 
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance, or nature’s changing course, untrimm’d;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow’st;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander’st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou grow’st; 
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

-Shakespeare, Sonnet 18

How humans communicate feelings of love today:

ios_emoji_smiling_face_with_heart-shaped_eyes

Makes sense.