I’m not cut out for fake wrestling. The Royal Rumble, yikes. Sounds scary. Maybe I just call in sick? My throat does feel scratchy, now that I think about it…. Are these steroids bad for me? What am I doing with my life? I’m a fraud! Do my fans know it’s all staged? These arm bands cutting off circulation. My hands are turning purple! As if I didn’t have enough to worry about already. Speaking of worries, is this green speedo too much? I feel silly standing in the ring. I hope my fans don’t read this blog post.