If the shoe sneezes

If you frequently blow, pinch and itch your nose, there’s a 30% chance that a person who comes into contact with you for the first time will think you’re a closet cokehead mere seconds after snorting a bump off a toilet.

If, while being introduced to said person, you make a joke about how in no way are you addicted to coke, the odds of his/her thinking you’re a closet cokehead jumps to 100%.

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